


Godbrand Vs The King of Red Lions

by GlitterNyappyGacktRose



Category: Castlevania (Cartoon), The Legend of Zelda & Related Fandoms, The Legend of Zelda: The Wind Waker, 悪魔城ドラキュラ | Castlevania Series
Genre: Boats and Ships, Crack Crossover, Oral Sex, Other, Suspension, Vampires, Vikings, Weirdness, weird ship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-14
Updated: 2020-08-14
Packaged: 2021-03-05 19:28:37
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,575
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25900612
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GlitterNyappyGacktRose/pseuds/GlitterNyappyGacktRose
Summary: Fuck the boat! Don't fuck the boat, baby!Godbrand’s favourite things are sex and boats. One day, Godbrand discovers the boat of his dreams: one that he can fuck! But will the reality be as good as his fantasy?Godbrand x The King of Red Lions
Relationships: Godbrand(Castlevania)/The King of Red Lions (Wind Waker)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 2





	Godbrand Vs The King of Red Lions

**Author's Note:**

> (This is the more explicit version of my other story with the same ship, "Godbrand vs Windfall Island")  
> You can read the tamer version here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25264177

“Ow ow ow” grumbled Godbrand, limping with his legs spread wide as he left the war room of Dracula’s castle. “I wish I was in Styria so I could stick my dick in the snow.”

“Excuse me?”

Godbrand didn’t need to turn it around to see who it was. The tutting, along with the disapproving tone and the clicking of heals had given it away. Within seconds, Carmilla appeared in front of Carmilla, her arms folded as she observed him with disgust.

“You really would stick your dick in anything,” she sighed, before wandering up the stairs, probably on her way to Dracula’s study to convince him to move the castle to Brailla. Godbrand clicked his tongue.

“Oh, trust me, you don’t know half of it,” he muttered long after she’d left. His journey to Dracula's castle had been... eventful.

*

Godbrand breathed a happy sigh as the cool sea breeze ran through his hair, the scent of saltwater filling his nostrils. His crew had taken to the sea in search of fresh blood, treasure and perhaps a village or two to burn to the ground. However, just as he began to fantasise about the screams of the humans as they tried to escape from his vampire crew, a sudden shout caught his attention. At first, he’d assumed that it had been a crew member, but his acute sense of hearing indicated that the voice was coming from further afield. Turning to the source of the noise, he spotted something in the distance: a single boat was idling nearby.

“Hey, you over there!” the voice shouted again. Godbrand grinned: little did this person know that they were shouting out to a ship filled with hungry Viking vampires. Although they intended to feast upon the first town they encountered, Godbrand wouldn’t mind a snack. He bounded towards his navigator.

“Fuill, set sail for that boat over there!” commanded Godbrand, pointing him in the right direction.

“Aye aye, captain!” Fuill shouted back, manoeuvring the ship towards to the right. Within minutes, they were beside the lone boat. As the crew threw down the anchor, Godbrand scurried over to the side of his ship, only to let out an exclamation of surprise. The boat, which seemed just big enough to fit one person, was completely empty. Beside the ship, a barrel was bobbing up and down in the water. Deciding to take a closer look, Godbrand leapt onto the barrel. He carefully settled into a sitting position and turned to face the boat. And as he did, he let out a gasp, and felt his cold heart begin to pound.

“Excuse me, would you be willing to help me?”

Godbrand’s jaw dropped. He’d expected to find a snack, not to fall in love. Godbrand’s favourite things on earth were ships and boats, as well as fucking. Never in his life had he considered the possibility that he could have both at the same time. There in front of him was a boat with a face… and a mouth, which was talking to him. The boat seemingly misunderstood Godbrand’s expression.

“Do not be alarmed,” chucked the boat. “I know my appearance must be strange to you. I am the King of Red Lions, and I have very important business to attend to. Perhaps you could lend me a sail? Or lend me a hand? I need to get to Windfall Island. The fate of our land depends on it. Can you take me there?”

Godbrand wasn’t sure about lending a hand. He did feel like lending him another body part. As his mind filled with extraordinary fantasies, the King of Red Lions cocked his head, looking at him with a confused expression.

“Captain, everything alright down there? Should we shoot it?” yelled Gnéas the second mate, a fire arrow pulled back as he carefully took aim. The boat, who turned his head and spotted him, widened his eyes.

“Careful, I am made of wood!” he exclaimed indignantly.

“Oh, you’re not the only one who’s got wood,” whispered Godbrand, reaching out to stroke his wooden face as he felt his loins stirring. The King of Red Lions just stared at Godbrand, looking utterly puzzled.

“Can you take me there?” he repeated eventually. Godbrand smirked.

“Well, I can certainly take you to the heights of pleasure…”

“I beg your pardon?” asked the King of Red Lions. He seemed genuinely shocked by Godbrand’s decision to not immediately agree to help him. But his shock was only just beginning as Godbrand began to fumble with his trousers. As the boat watched him with wide wooden eyes, Godbrand let out a satisfied sigh as he pulled out his already hard dick.

“Now suck it,” he grinned, wrapping his legs around the boat’s neck and pulling himself in closer to him. The King of Red Lions turned his head away, a look of disgust on his face.

“I refuse,” he spat indignantly.

“Oh? But didn’t you say that the fate of your world rests on whether I help you or not? Well, perhaps I need a little motivation… Look, it’s not like you’ve got much of a choice now, do you?”

Godbrand had anticipated that the boat would put up more of a fight, so naturally he was surprised when he felt the boats wooden mouth close around his member.

“Ooooooooh!” gasped Godbrand, as the King of Red Lions took him into his mouth. He felt his eyes begin to close with pleasure.

“Aaaah,” moaned Godbrand, his brow furrowing as the movement of the boat’s tongue began to get more and more intense.

“…AAAAAAGH!!!” screamed Godbrand finally, when the pain became too much. He forced the King of Red Lion’s mouth open as he pulled his softening dick out. It was at that moment that Godbrand truly understood the reason that fantasy and reality should often be kept separate. He let out a cry as he caught sight of his dick, which resembled the back of a hedgehog as almost every square centimetre was covered with splinters. He felt his eyes watering as he attempted to pull out one of the splinters, chickening out at the last second. Just then, the sound of someone clearing their throat caught his attention. He looked up from his porcupine-like penis to find the King of Red Lions glaring at him.

“I kept up my side of the offer. Now it’s your turn,” he requested coolly. Whimpering from pain, Godbrand nodded. He called out to his crew members. Within minutes, Godbrand was lying flat on the ship’s deck, his legs spread wide open, allowing the cool breeze to soothe his shlong. He turned his head to grin at the King of Red Lions, who was currently bound by rope and dangling from the side of the ship.

“Do you like that, you slut?” cooed Godbrand, momentarily distracted from the pain. “I bet you do. You were made to be suspended and humiliated, to-"

“I am indifferent to the matter,” retorted the King of Red Lions coldly, completely unfazed. Godbrand let out a groan, his disappointment that the boat was not into humiliation and suspension being overshadowed by the pain in his penis. With a sigh, he shut his eyes, not even bothering to open his eyes when the crew finally reached Windfall Island and started lowering the King of Red Lions down. It was only when Godbrand heard the thud of someone landing on the deck did he bother looking.

“I have come to deliver a letter to- oh…”

Godbrand let out a frustrated snort. In front of him was a Rito, a bird person from a nearby island. Once he’d spotted the position Godbrand was in, he began to look away awkwardly.

“Hey, I don’t judge you for having a beak on your face,” snapped Godbrand as he gingerly sat up. “So, why should you be judging me for having splinters in my dick? Here, give me that!”

Godbrand winced as he limped over to the Rito. He snatched the letter from him, and let out a groan as he saw who it was from. The Rito, who had already carried out his duties, hastily flew away.

“What is it, captain?” asked Gnéas, as several crew members approached him. “Actually, the crew and I have just been having a discussion. We’ve had a look at this island, and, well is it ok if we raid it? There’s seems to be plenty to eat.”

“No can do,” sighed Godbrand. “I want to bathe in blood as much of any of you do. But unfortunately, Dracula has summoned me. Uuuuugh, I feel like I’ve been staked in the dick! The pain is almost as bad as listening to that old man, but he’ll probably hunt me down if I don’t show up. Honestly speaking, I’d rather fuck the boat again, but what choice do I have?”

After ripping frustratedly through his logbook, Godbrand eventually found the coordinates. And with that, him and his crew set sail towards Dracula’s castle, leaving the people of Windfall Island undisturbed. Normally, Godbrand would have come up with a better plan, but with a dick full of splinters, he just couldn’t think straight. And with an angry yell, he sat on the deck once more, carefully plucking the splinters from his penis as the navigator mapped their intended route. He dreaded his meeting with Dracula, but hopefully the old man’s bark was worse than his bite.

**Author's Note:**

> Please excuse all the stupid wood/ tree puns in the last paragraph. I got carried away and just sort of branched off into a load of puns


End file.
